How a Grief Counselor Survive the Death of His Wife

 

Grief is such a power that it alters an individual both internally and externally. It changes every single thing from our thought process to the way we breathe and the way we rationalize the world around us. The book When the Grief Counsellor Becomes the Grieving Counsellor is one of the most potent lifelines that makes Adrian, an experienced counsellor and addictions specialist, survive when his wife dies in an earthquake. His experience demonstrates that even the most basic endeavour to put words on paper might help become an anchor in life when it becomes too heavy to bear.

Adrian had assisted numerous people to overcome grief, trauma, and addiction with more than twenty years of experience. His career had been to advise clients to write about their feelings through journaling or poetry and reflective writing. What he had never anticipated was that he would one day have to use these same tools to be able to live through the gradual and devastating loss of his beloved wife and the deathly silence that would come to him when she died.

 Visit Website: https://serenity-counseling-and-coaching-services.com/

Adrian's world was flipped upside down; he lost his world when his wife died after a ten-month struggle with a rare hereditary neurological illness. Emotional numbness that ensued was too much. Sleeping was hard, remembering caused more pain than pleasure, and even his work experience could not help him overcome the depth of his grief. The grief counsellor was completely clueless on how to counsel himself, the first time in his life.

At this dark season writing, which he had always advocated and never himself followed in any regular way, took its place. What initially started as random ideas in a journal gradually took the shape of poetry, letters and personal contemplations that enabled him to work through his sorrows in a manner in which no other thing would. It was not only a way to express yourself but also a means of surviving.

Adrian wrote one of his earliest works, a poem named I Lost You Today. In it, he has embodied the emotional mess of losing his wife.

Amazon: When the Grief Counselor Becomes the Grieving Counselor 

Every individual had his or her narrative of the loss, though each of them was one of the fragments of the voyage that Adrian had only started to make. The sincerity, their shaky voices and their weakness together created a bond that was not seen. It was the first time he did not need to explain or perform like other people did since the death of his wife. His support group turned into a niche, a place where no one judged his pain clinically but dealt with it with compassion.

The second strong point of support groups is that they will destroy the isolation that grief brings. Adrian retreated into himself after the death of his wife. Home was claustrophobic, the memories too numerous. He started to lose touch with clients in his professional life as he could not bear their pain in addition to his own. But the presence of the group drew him back into union. Adrian felt his isolation mellow when he heard other people talk about how grief had interfered with their sleep, their habits, their religion, and their day-to-day living. He was no longer on his own. Their mutual grief was mutualized, lightened, too, as it was no longer in his hand.

The safety that is provided through support groups also helps to create the feeling of being safe enough to express themselves truly. Being a therapist, Adrian was accustomed to being the tough guy, the stabilizing force, who carries the emotions of all others. Yet in the team he was able to speak freely. He cried freely. He confessed tremendous things that he never expressed. He was dealing with suppressed memories. The team neither judged nor was right nor impatient about him. They actively listened, merely providing a presence, which is more curative than the advice. Such unleavened sincerity would be an important component in his emotional healing.